A veteran with post traumatic stress injuries pulled himself back from the brink of suicide and is now seeking to help others living in the same situation.
Calum Owens, from Carnoustie, returned home with a back injury after serving in some of the world’s most hostile warzones, firstly as a commando operative and then working as a consultant in the private security industry.
But after spending 12 years in the harsh battlegrounds of Bosnia, Iraq, Afghanistan and in pirate-filled waters of the Mediterranean, the 38-year-old was left suffering with PTSI (post traumatic stress injuries) — a biological injury that develops after a person has experienced terrifying events. He said: “The things that you see on the news don’t even come close to explaining just how bad it is.
“It is difficult to paint a picture — a lot of people struggle to come to terms with their experiences.
“It is like living in a nightmare. You get flashbacks where you are right back in the situation.
“When I came back it was hard, because I had been injured and was being told that I couldn’t do what I felt like I was born to do.
“I had depression and anxiety and started having flashbacks. You are operating at 100% every day knowing there are IEDs, ambushes and the possibility of being kidnapped at any moment.
“The relationship I was in broke down and I moved to Arbroath, and I had every intention of ending my life.
“I got a house next to the cliffs and every morning I would walk out but I’d find a reason not to jump.”
Calum said the main thing that stopped him was the thought of how it would impact upon his two children — Chloe, 18, and Amy, 16 — and he also credits his new wife Ailis, 36, as his saving grace, as she stood by him when he was “as low as you can get”.
He said that mixed martial arts — which he had previously competed in while serving but stopped after his injury — also provided a lifeline.
He set up a gym in Carnoustie, House of Pain, and now coaches youngsters in the sport. He had his first professional fight three weeks ago.
Now, he has set up a charity called Inner Battles in the hope of helping uniformed services veterans to cope with life back on “civvy street”.
He said: “This is a chance for people to speak to someone who has been there and made it out.
“The support so far has been amazing. I have had messages from all over the country.”
Calum says his next step is to set up a phoneline to allow people to contact him for support, alongside the Facebook page he’s already set up, and to forge links with community organisations and the health board to have people referred to him for help.
He is fundraising so he can take people to sporting events as part of a therapy he has developed to allow them to be comfortable in crowds of people again — something he struggled with.
People who want to contribute can visit justgiving.com/crowdfunding/inner-battles.